Hear me out: Now is the right time for Shrek 5
My Hinge profile mentions Shrek in three separate places: About Me, My Type, and Getting Personal. There's no descriptor or mention of a specific movie, just one simple word that is strong enough to elicit some kind of emotional reaction in a potential suitor: Shrek. So, while some of you may have rolled your eyes at the news about a potential fifth instalment in the beloved animated franchise and wondered, "who is this even for?", I'm here to tell you there is an audience for it. But it’s not just for tax-paying millennials like me who own the original film on VHS – it's for you, too.
Hear me out: it's a harsh world. Things are bleak. Every day we learn of some new unfathomable horror that is completely out of our control. What the world needs right now is a little absurdity, just enough to keep us off our phones and away from the constant overload of information – for say, 1 hour and 30 minutes? And what's more absurd than a PG movie about a farting ogre who makes sculptures from his own earwax?
The first Shrek movie exploded my seven-year-old brain, confused adults, and had small children saying the word "ass" while insisting they were talking about a donkey. A smelly ogre with an unexplained Scottish accent teams up with an annoying talking Donkey (that sounds suspiciously like Mushu from 1998's Mulan – oh wait) and makes a deal with an impossibly short Lord to rescue a rough-and-tumble princess, not for love, but in order to get his beloved swampland back. They also effectively beat up every single knight in the royal court beforehand in an epic battle montage set to Joan Jett's 'Bad Reputation'.
In the 1990s, we were inundated with Disney classics that included inspirational songs and dainty princesses. Shrek, directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson, was DreamWorks Animation's answer to the Disneyfication of our childhoods – it was something of an antithesis, turning the fairytale genre on its head and turning it into something totally new and impossibly weird. And instead of heartfelt, original songs, we got a cover medley of forgotten Top 40 hits sung by fairytale creatures...and Smash Mouth.
Shrek 2 was even better, Shrek the Third was just okay, and Shrek Forever After could probably be wiped from the franchise entirely – but it's been 13 years. Don't you want to go back to those warm fuzzy feelings you got from watching Puss In Boots sing Ricky Martin's Livin' "La Vida Loca," or the happy tears in your eyes when Fiona tells Shrek that she loves him just the way he is and doesn't care if a magic spell could make them both human again?
The fourth installment might've skipped over some of the magic in favor of simply rush-releasing another hit film out into the world – but I think DreamWorks has learned from their mistakes. After all, Shrek spin-off Puss In Boots: The Last Wish, which came out in 2022, was lauded by both critics and viewers alike – and managed to gross over $500 million at the global box office. Animators ditched the hyper-realistic style they went with in Shrek 2, opted for a cuter, wide-eyed cat, and kept the original voice actors that we all know and love. They still know how to harness the true charm of the Shrek universe and make a film that both children, parents, and childless millennials (Hi!) can all enjoy.
TL;DR: Give Shrek 5 a chance. I mean, the OG cast – yes, we're talking Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, and Eddie Murphy – are all on board to come back. If enough of us are excited, I think we can subconsciously manifest it into existence. Enough live-action adaptations of Disney animated classics – let animation be weird again! I mean, Donkey ended up marrying Dragon and having horribly cute dragon-donkey hybrid babies for Christ's sake. The tiny donkeys have wings and breathe fire. Don't act like you're too cool to (hee-h)aw at that.
For more, check out our list of the most exciting upcoming movies in 2023 and beyond, or, check out our ranking of the best animated movies that aren't just for kids.
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